Salsarita's is really just a poor imitation of Moe's...

This morning was kind of a weird one. I woke up around 7 when Kristi was getting ready to leave so I could get her cheesecake on a portable plastic thing for her and then I took Lucy out. The cheesecake did turn out well, so that was good. My sister wants one for her birthday celebration on Friday night, so I guess I'll be making another tomorrow.

Anyways, I came back in and felt pretty awake, so I checked email/facebook and watched sportscenter for a little while. Eventually i drifted off to sleep, and then woke up again around 10 and got ready for the day. My lunch with Nate was cancelled since he is still sick, so I considered calling some other people to meet up for lunch but eventually decided to stick around the house. I enjoy eating lunch with people and talking, but unfortunately I have started that tradition with so many that it's hard to keep up with everyone now. Hopefully no one is offended.

I wasn't going to take Lucy for her walk, but she kept pulling on my jeans, so we went on a short one. When we got back she was really worn out, I guess because of her sickness, so she slept the rest of the morning. I made some early lunch and then started working on the design stuff again. I have not really been feeling all that creative the past two days, and I don't know if I love the two things I have designed. Part of the problem is I don't really know how to do my own illustrations so I am limited to what stock images I can find around the web. It would be cool to learn all that stuff, but I don't really plan on using it extensively in the future, and it doesn't really get me all that excited.

I finished working on that stuff around 1:30 and decided to leave for work a little early. There was still a ton to clean up from Jingle Jazz, so I figured I could use the extra time. Joe wasn't feeling well, so I was there pretty much by myself all day. I told Matt and James to let me know when they went to dinner so I could have someone to go with.

I keep the big lights off in the sanctuary to save money and just work with the fluorescent stage lights on, so it's generally pretty dark. When James came in to tell me it was time to go, he said all he could see was a silhouette. I told him that I'm kind of like Quasimoto in there, just running around all hunched over with no friends, doing my job in the dark. I thought that was a pretty funny comparison.

We ate at Salsarita's and Matt asked me a bunch of questions about my last job in Columbia. I felt like I was talking the whole time because of all the questions, which makes me feel really uncomfortable after a while. I used to do this thing in high school and college where I would try to go whole days without telling any stories about myself. Usually I did this when I felt like I had started to be too self-focused. It is extremely hard, but it really helps you take an interest into other people and learn how to ask questions...you should try it sometime. I haven't done it lately...maybe I should.

When we got back I helped Joe (who showed up to help with rehearsal) do some stuff with choir rehearsal and then I went down to get ready for the big rehearsal. Things were kind of a mess sound wise tonight. With orchestra and choir, there is just tons of mics on stage and I really struggled to get anything to sound decent. Everything just sounds washed out and harsh. Not to mention it was really hard to get the choir up loud enough without feedback. I have the Audix micro condenser in the middle right now, but it is giving me some problems, so I think I'm going to switch it out for one of the SM81's. I used those last time, and they worked pretty well. I couldn't get the orchestra up as much as I usually do with out creating bleed and feedback issues, so I think they'll just have to be more in the background this week.

One of the ladies playing flute brought some Hershey's chocolate for the tech guys wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper with a little thank you note on it. I don't know why, but that just seemed like one of the nicest things I've ever seen, especially since I don't even know her. Somehow she knew that I was going into nursing too. I think I'm going to find her address on Friday and send her a little thank you note. Thank you notes are underrated, and yet I am still often too much of a slacker to send one. I bought one for someone months ago and it has just sat in my car since then...sad really.

After rehearsal I came home and talked to Kristi a while, and then I got into bed. I love having Lucy and Oliver sleep in the bed, even though it's supposedly not the best thing to do. It's just kind of nice having your wife and your pets asleep beside you while you go to sleep. I think people without pets are really missing out. Sure sometimes they mess up things (like the time Lucy chewed up my favorite Sennheiser headphones), but it's definitely worth every bit of it. The other day I was thinking about why people like their pets so much, and I decided that it's probably because it's the closest we get to feeling unconditional love on this side of eternity. I know I'm anthropomorphizing because pets act on instinct and don't really have emotions and all that, but still you understand what I mean. I know too that we feel God's unconditional love on this side of eternity, but I guess I'm talking more about physical breathing beings. I feel like I'm throwing way too many qualifications out there, but that's generally what I do.

On another note, I started reading this book called Thriving as an Artist in the Church by Rory Noland, who also wrote The Heart of an Artist, which I hear is good. I saw the book on Matt's bookshelf and asked him to borrow it, because the title really interested me. I think I was interested because lately I've been feeling like sometimes the church seems to suppress creativity and artistry either because of fear of new things, fear of "too much production," having things not work well, or whatever else. I was talking about it with Trenton Stokes at lunch the other day. As a pastor, he was talking about a worship leader not being so artistic that he/she loses touch with the congregation. I certainly agree with him in principle, but the thought also scares me because I feel like it can also be abused to a point where worship leaders and other artists lose a great deal of artistic control and creativity. I definitely think the church should lead in ingenuity and overall awesomeness when it comes to the arts, especially because we are directly using it as a form of worship. While I would say that art can't be "Christian" because it isn't a human with a soul, and there is nothing inherently more worshipful about a song with "Christian" lyrics than a painting that someone painted as an act of worship, art that comes from the church is unarguably recognized as "Christian" because of it's context.

The book has been really good so far, and I am not even that far into it. Alot of the sections bring a good bit of clarity to the way I function and think. I don't think it was until I became Performing Arts major that I began to realize what an artistic mindset I have, and this has helped me realize many things about myself that I didn't before. One thing that has stuck out to me in the book is the point he makes about constantly challenging yourself artistically so you don't lose passion and become bored. I definitely have struggled with this after moving back from Columbia. He makes the point that you need to be ready in case God presents an opportunity to use your gifts.

Lately I have been a little discouraged in this area. I am not really sure if God will ever give me another opportunity to use my musical gifts in the church on as much of a day to day basis as I did in Columbia. In one sense, I have such a passion for music, and for developing others as part of a worship ministry team...but in another sense I believe that if God never calls me back to that, I have to be OK with that. No one would argue that if I were to be in a terrible accident and lose a limb I would have to be satisfied with what God chose for me, so in the same way I don't think that just because I have the passion for certain things that I do that God will automatically call me to do that for the rest of my life. There may be other things that he wants to use me in. I am rambling a little, but this is just a picture of the things that go through my head. Disagree with any of it? Leave a comment if you do...

I think I'll end there for today. When I started my blog I mainly wanted to keep a record of what I do from day to day, but I have found that it is a great place for me to ramble about my thoughts. I don't think many people would care to sit and listen to me talk about all the sound/music/God thoughts that go on inside my head, so in a way it helps me get them out without having to put someone through that. If you made it all the way through, I commend you once again.

So anyways, tomorrow should be a pretty good day. I'm taking my car to get it's oil changed, then I'll finish up some Christmas shopping, and then I'm going to eat with my friend Jay, which I am really excited about. I ordered my sister's birthday present last week and it hasn't come in the mail yet...hope it gets here by Friday!