The first night off is always a rough one. I woke up a little earlier than I usually would today so that I'll hopefully sleep well tonight. I was in charge of Addy tonight because Kristi has Bible Study, so I tried to think of something fun and free to do...and it hit me that none of us have been to the dog park in a long time. Sure, it's a long drive downtown, but Lucy needs the exercise and Addy loves puppy dogs with all of her heart. Needless to say we had an absolute blast...Addy especially. We also had the playground all to ourselves afterwards, which was fun because Lucy would play on the equipment with Addy...I never did get her to go down the slide though.
Today I had one of those moments where I saw something clearly that I don't like about myself. I have had times like this before in high school, or college, or most recently probably when I moved back from Columbia. I think now I feel like I have been defined by working night shifts the past few months. Sure it makes me feel crappy alot of the time, but I've let it dig into my personality, my running, my diet, my free time...pretty much everything. I do not want to be defined by night shift. I may work nights for several more years, but I can't let the physical toll dictate what type of person I am. I think this is what I have been trying to work out of subconsciously by running more, taking Lucy for more walks, and doing fun things with Addy. I was thinking about what I used to do during school while I waited tables. I think that no matter how busy I was, I always made time for exercise, usually ate a healthy diet, I always found fun things to do with the family and with Lucy, and I would find nights that I could cook really unique, delicious food with something good to drink. I am going to try to get back to these habits, because no matter how bad I feel from staying up all night, I can't let those feelings steal the small joys that I have enjoyed in my life the past few years. We'll see how it goes!
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